One thing which keeps me in awe of God is His creation. I think all He's created is perfect! The boundaries between land and water, the beauty of the skies. The wonders of times and seasons are all so amazing to see and reveal that God does all things well and perfectly. It's difficult to question God's display; It's simply perfect. And I guess as He created humans in His image, it's inherent for us to want to do things well and sometimes perfectly! But then, in our human frame, always wanting to do things perfectly may have some adverse effects on us.
Recently, it dawned on me that living life constantly striving for perfection is not so realistic. The truth is, perfection is what we personally frame up in our minds, it never really exists. I think, it is the art of setting extremely high targets for ourselves and even for others we relate with. You hardly ever want to make a mistake and are so keen to ensure everyone is pleased, because you are so worried of what they will think if you didn’t do it well. In fact even when you give your best you still feel you didn’t ace it and you end up on an emotional low! You expected to have 90 % but you had 80%, now you are feeling so downcast that no one seems able to console you. Well, if you fit into any of the cases above, you might be a chaser of perfection and this post is certainly for you.
Perfectionism could have a negative impact on mental health and sponsor depression. It is so unreal. Life naturally allows for mistakes so that from them, we can learn. Imagine if you always did everything right, then there will hardly be any need for development, improvement and any reason to learn. If you live in constant strive for perfection, you will miss the beauty of the little details of life and hardly ever appreciate anything not to talk of the progress you must have made over the days, weeks and even decades.
Perfectionism steals your joy and self-esteem A perfectionist always thinks low on him/herself and thinks they didn’t do it well or haven’t aced the job. This makes him to see himself as less- deserving and not up to the standard. After a presentation, he will certainly be feeling ridiculed and imagining that he wasn’t good enough meanwhile it may not even be the case. A perfectionist seldom rejoices at his achievements because he/she thinks they were to do better.
Perfectionism doesn’t allow for growth and improvement. Have you ever seen a baby trying to walk? If you have, you will certainly agree with me that the baby must have fallen a good number of times and went back to creeping. But they keep trying and bambambam…… one day they get it!! They start with couple of steps; 1, 2, then 3, then 4 & soon they become experts at it! Imagine that little baby gave up at the first try and said I am no good, I am destined for creeping, and thinks ‘they even laughed at me when I fell’ the answer is clear: baby will not walk, will remain creeping and upon that will keep feeling bad that he failed in the walking test!Well, that’s what perfection does, it indirectly stagnates you. It makes you feel bad and keeps you from daring again, it tells you, you must get it at first time try and if you don’t get it then you are a failure.
Perfectionism is a time waster/a procrastinator. You haven’t practiced well enough, you have not yet known how to write so well, you are not a good orator so mounting that stage now will be disastrous, until you have practiced another 50 times :) before you can do it! The list of excuses which the perfectionist mind will suggest could go on. Because a perfectionist always feels he is not yet good enough, he always tends to push it for tomorrow believing that he will be more ready then. Unfortunately he never is ready enough to meet his high expectations.
Perfectionism doesn’t celebrate difference and opinions. It is equally portrayed towards others. How, you ask? Well, many at times you expect people to be, to act, to talk, to react, and to think etc. in a certain way ‘your way’ and that is what you define as perfect. Once someone goes off that line, you get crazy and flair and you put up such an attitude with them. The truth is our differences in character, opinion and style give color to life. Imagine a world where everyone was ‘you’, at the shop you meet 'you'! In church ‘you’, at work ‘you’, on the street ‘you’; trust me life will certainly be very boring. Yes, do have some standards, but give room for others to be their very selves.
Perfectionism is very expensive, exhaustive and draining because it’s a myth! Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you shouldn’t do things well but allow room for mistakes and to be natural. Do your best and appreciate the outcome of it, if you need to put more effort give it another chance and appreciate the process. You alone can tell if you are putting in your best, and if you know you did just that don’t crucify yourself if the outcome didn’t come forth as you thought!
'Progress not Perfection' -Harper Mason
Sometime last month, after I had performed poorly (in my mind) at a presentation, the words beautiful imperfection resonated in my spirit for an entire day and I began to wonder why! Then I felt this deep inspiration within me whispering I am beautiful as I am, not having everything sorted out but still seen as beautiful. That’s what God does, He takes you as you are and begins to work on you to fix you, He doesn’t do it at a go, it’s a process of change, renewal, washing, purifying, & growth sometimes demanding effort and determination on your part but the beautiful thing is that before He even starts working in and on you, He loves you as you are and continues loving you for who you are becoming and who you will become.Whatever thing you start or do, it will take time for you to know it, to do it better and even do it well so give it time, be patient with yourself and keep at it, don’t give up. Clap for yourself for the baby steps you take and keep on keeping on, remember;
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Lao Tzu
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